Yoga Meditation Mindfulness

Yoga is a science of the mind

Yoga is a science of the mind. We may treat our experiences in the world, as well as the perceptions of experience itself, like objects and equipment in our mental laboratory. Some of the objects help us thrive as humans. Many others are unhelpful coping mechanisms, remnant from old hurts that still, unconsciously, drive our behaviour day to day.

As caretakers of our internal environment, we have the power to do something about this. We can learn to deeply see and understand these objects of mind. It takes courage and self-compassion to meet ourselves with deeper self-honesty. And then, it takes turning our insights into action to have a direct experience of what we desire instead. Given that, we can learn to transform or transcend these objects of mind. Actually, we can even learn to transform or transcend the equipment!

To begin, then, yoga asks us to do sincere, honest inquiry into all our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Just a little at a time. With so many thought patterns to choose from, and with our tendency to fall right back into old habits, it’s no wonder that this work takes time…! (Thankfully; we don’t actually have to work with all of our mind patterns. Eventually we make a habit of releasing unhelpful beliefs; and the struggle eases by itself.)

We learn to observe our thought patterns through witnessing our thinking processes, words and actions. Repeatedly in both meditation and in daily life, with attentive mindfulness. Then, we may learn to detach from overly identifying with any one pattern. This helps us gradually see that we are at the same time all and none of these identity patterns.

It’s not just our thoughts…

A parallel, and very potent practice of mindfulness is to observe how triggers in life evoke emotional patterns within. We can then use that awareness to go deeper into the unconscious to illuminate, understand and release trauma from earlier unresolved emotional experiences. The emotional charge from a trigger is in fact one of our greatest teachers in life!

It is a real and powerful skill to hold space for deep emotion without suppressing its depth and explosive charge. It’s also a skill to let it flow through our being in a healthy way. In my view, the skill of holding space for any emotion and thought is a key part of mindfulness. It is paramount in my own teaching of yoga with truthfulness.

We cannot go deeper without facing and accepting all that we are presently experiencing within.

Only sincere, deep acceptance helps transform the pain we have suppressed from something we suffered to something that empowers us. Only then can we begin to find equanimity in the totality of our being. All parts included, beyond the conditioning of ‘good’ to ‘bad’. This is the process of integration.

From pain to empowerment

Within this awareness developing process (that by the way is more cyclical than linear), we become more acutely aware of the pain created by some patterns. This is our internal compass strengthening – a good sign! At this point, we need faith in ourselves. Practice makes it easier to release that pain from its very roots within, and taste freedom beyond conditioning.

With the courage to see and accept ourselves as we are, in a steady long-term practice of loving-kindness, we begin to experience how peace is not something we need to seek. It is more like a falling away of old habits and thought patterns that keep us separate from innate peacefulness. We are releasing personal over-identification with both the objects of experiment and the experimental equipment itself.

It may sound like we are losing ourselves. But in truth, we are coming to a place of freedom, where we can choose what identities are most aligned to us. Unbound by conditioning, we are free to make fully conscious choices about what we truly wish to embody in this life. 

Only from this radical place of self-awareness and self-acceptance can we truly live in present moment awareness, rather than from habit, every day.

From empowerment to compassion

When we begin to truly, deeply move past inherited concepts of good and bad, right and wrong, that’s also where the magic of true compassion begins to unfold.

Seeing the same fears, attachments, and capacity for love in ourselves, we develop deeper compassion for others. Our work begins on the inside, but it brings us all closer together, teaching how we really aren’t so different after all. 

How yoga can help

Yoga is so much more than postures. It offers us frameworks for our internal science. General principles of self-inquiry with which we can sort out who we are and what we are not.

Today, traditional yoga is often divided into many branches. Each branch offers a more specific framework that may suit some people better than others. Yoga emphasises that there is no one way to do this inner journey, but every one of us needs to find what helps us personally to move inward.

As the tools for this are many – and may change over time as we change internally – I tend to focus on general principles/foundations in addition to specific tools in my teaching.

Finding your own path

It is important to remember that the only person who can judge which framework is most helpful to you, is you. Learning discernment and mindfulness can be especially helpful here. Together, these two key skills can help us access the internal wisdom we need to know what actually works for us. And to know what doesn’t, and what used to work but no longer does…

Because we also need to remember that no matter how much we’ve learnt, we should always be prepared to let go of old truths, tools or habits as we outgrow them, leaving space for going even deeper.

Yoga finally cautions us of letting authority be a determining factor for whatever we believe in. As far as possible, we are encouraged to experience our own internal science within ourselves rather than just believing other people’s claims. Even time-proven methods are simply useful starting points for internal investigation. Thus, yoga is 100% non-dogmatic. Every journey is evidently unique. And every perspective on the inner journey is valid for the person who is experiencing their journey. Living this truth eventually builds acceptance for all of our journeys without limit.

 

Method

My passion is to encourage the direct experience of Yoga. This will inevitably mean something different to everyone. I focus on deep integration of all the different aspects of the self. Self-understanding, self-acceptance and self-love create the stable foundation needed to experience deeply embodied present-moment awareness.

Many tools

I lean on the framework of traditional yoga, as well as modern tools related to mind-body-energy health.

As we struggle with different things at different times, I might emphasise different areas of awareness. Mindfulness and discrimination, self-compassion and self-trust are foundational. Joy and playfulness, safety and stability, effort and focus, pleasure and body freedom, are other important areas. Balancing contemplation and understanding (mind) and clarity/inner wisdom (Self), emotions and energy, is key. And body awareness and acceptance is essential if our goal is embodiment.

All of these concepts can be seen as tools to understand our own being on different levels. The better we understand ourselves, the better we can meet our deep unmet needs, which directly improves our everyday  experience. And the better our needs are met, the easier it is for our natural positive qualities such as love and joy to shine through. And not least, for us to share these qualities with others!

Lineages and styles

My yoga teachings are largely based on tantra and on Traditional Yoga of the Himalayan Masters. An original ancient yogic lineage, the latter includes all the limbs of yoga (of which hatha/postures is only one). It weaves the three yogic branches Yoga, Vedanta, and Tantra together into a unifying whole. Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is a very helpful guide to begin to understand traditional yoga in practice.

I am a trauma informed yoga teacher certified (RYT-260) in the Akhanda Shakti method. Akhanda, founded by Yogrishi Vishvketu, refers to ‘all of yoga’ – traditional yoga as outlined above. Shakti here refers to the addition of my direct teacher Adi Shakti; in brief, this part is about seeing, understanding, honoring and experiencing the creative power of the Universe, also as it exists within ourselves. My personal practice has an emphasis on devotion and service (also called Bhakti yoga), Kundalini philosophy and experience, and Jnana yoga. 

In physical classes I teach either in the Akhanda Shakti method, including traditional sun salutations, breath work and mantra; or free Vinyasa flows inspired by modern Ashtanga. I teach both vigorous and calming gentle classes. I also have a very special affection for Yoga Nidra and deep-working meditative experiences.

Whatever the form, I emphasise the importance of starting where you are. Being able to do asanas is not the point – it’s so much more interesting when we learn to use yoga as a tool to understand ourselves better. That said, my teaching always aims to be in tune with my students – and honestly, sometimes a plain physical class does the trick.

My personal yoga journey 

Resisting change

More than a decade ago, yoga came into my life just when it was needed the most. I was living abroad, isolated, buried in endless work and beginning to question the meaning of life. Feeling a life transition luring around the corner – and desperately needing it – I was too afraid to let go of the old.

The major obstacle, and the key to overcoming it, both hid within my strong identification with my situation at the time. A life in physics had been my purpose and passion since childhood. I’d constructed my entire life around it, sacrificed so much for it. I couldn’t reconcile that this path could actually lose its magic to me.

But it was never truly about what I was doing, day-to-day. It was about how I defined my identity altogether.

Dark Night of the Soul

Not listening to that inner voice, I spiralled into my first ‘dark night of the soul’. After a period of depression, I experienced a complete loss of identity. At my worst, I had very little memory recollection of my life thus far. I couldn’t even recall “my” personality traits or how to do simple everyday tasks. I wholly lacked an internal anchor to “tell me who I was” and how to show up in the world.

Lacking the foundations to stand in the loss of a self, it was an  experience of deep darkness and chaos. 

At that rock bottom, yoga and meditation found their way to me. Slowly, through sometimes painful self-honesty and much confusion, these practices helped me build myself up. From the feet to the crown, I re-learned how to listen to my body, to feel sensations without numbing. From the chaos of darkness, I crawled back to a more aligned version of myself. 

The lessons

I can now look back with immense gratitude for having experienced no-identity. For having let it destroy my too strong attachment to identities, in order to rebuild myself. This time intent on leaving self-abandonment behind, instead integrating of all of my parts.

I am grateful for having chosen to let these life lessons open my heart instead of hardening it. And I’m grateful for continually opening up to what I can offer others, through the wisdom of my own experience. This is the gift inherent in any experience, whether painful or pleasurable – the possibility for it to deepen our self-awareness, self-honesty, self-compassion, self-trust and wisdom, if we let it.

I have considered myself a yogi and self-healer for over a decade, now. And I’ve found the cliché true for me thus far: the journey never ends. Layer by layer, there is more to peel off. Richer experiences to be had. Subtler insights to be found.  More personal power to be released. And more diversity to be explored in the artwork of our lives. There is also more wholeness and bliss to be felt as we let go of our old limiting beliefs.

I believe in enlightenment as an unfolding journey, revealing ever deeper experiences of present-moment awareness and unconditional love. And I believe that we are here to embody that expansive state of awareness in and through our physical bodies. Constantly tuning into what feels most authentic and loving, and allowing that to guide the full expression of who we are.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I would be honored to listen to yours, and to explore this unfolding journey together for a while.

Namaste.